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Sweet Nothing Page 8
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Page 8
His apartment was blank like mine, just a ratty couch, recliner, and hutch in the living room. I breathed in, and instead of chicken vomit or baba ganoush, I smelled bleach, mint, and Josh’s cologne.
“Lived here long?” I asked.
“Nope. Just a few months. I had to find something quick so I could stop couch surfing.”
“And why is that?” I asked.
“Why was I couch surfing?”
I nodded.
“Because I’d just moved to town.”
“Why?”
“Damn.” He grinned. “Didn’t know this was going to turn into the Spanish Inquisition.”
I clutched my arms. The air conditioning was on full blast. “I’m alone with you in your apartment. I think I’m entitled to the basics.”
“You cold?” he asked.
“It feels like a meat locker in here.”
“I sleep better that way.”
“How do you afford the bill?” I asked.
Josh disappeared into a doorway and then came out holding a gray hoodie. He tossed it to me. “Put it on. It’s really warm.”
I looked down. “I don’t think you want it against my scrubs.”
“C’mon, like I don’t get lathered in bodily fluids all day? It’ll buff out. Put it on before you freeze.”
“Buff out? That’s an odd thing to say.”
He shrugged. “Like buffing a scratch from a car. My dad used to always say it for everything. We’re gearheads. I get elbow deep in grease on a regular basis. It relaxes me. Clears my head.”
I slipped the hoodie over my head. A green Adidas logo was stamped on the front, and it happened to be the softest thing I’d even worn. “God, this is amazing.”
“Isn’t it? It’s my favorite.”
The gesture wasn’t lost on me that he’d handed me his favorite sweatshirt to wear. “I’ll get it back to you after I wash it.”
“No rush … There you are!” he said, grabbing his wallet off the hutch and stuffing it into his back pocket.
“Now we can go. Sorry about that.” He called his dog, reaching down to pet him.
“That’s an awful name. Sounds like a serial killer,” I said.
Josh feigned offense. “You don’t like it? Okay, you name him, then.”
“What? No. I just meant …”
Josh stood, crossing his arms. “I’m serious. Give him a better name if you don’t like it.”
“Like a nickname?”
“Yeah. I’m still calling him …” Tiny whimpers came from the floor, and I bent over to run my fingers through coarse black and brown hair. “Didi,” I said. “That’s close enough to what he’s used to, so I don’t confuse him.”
Josh wrinkled his nose. “He’s a boy, Avery.”
“Fine, just Dee, then.”
“Dee it is,” Josh said, bending over to ruffle the hair on Dee’s head. “I’ll be back later.”
Dee whined when we approached the door.
My mouth curved down. He looked so lonely, and I knew exactly how that felt. “You just got home. Maybe we should stay here?”
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah, we can have JayWok deliver and watch a movie.”
Josh shook his head. “No movies. I’m kind of enjoying the inquisition.” He jogged back to the door, opened it, and then grabbed his phone. The dog wiggled its butt against Josh’s ankles again, and then ran over to me. I picked him up and sat on the couch.
“Hey, it’s Josh.”
I smiled. Josh called them as much as I did. “The same for me, and Avery’s over here. Yeah, chicken fried rice and low-sodium soy.” He gestured to me, making sure that was all right. I nodded. “Delivery. Thanks, Coco.”
“If I still had a car,” I said, “I’d ask you to teach me to change my oil. That would save me a ton of money.”
He shrugged. “I can do it. I don’t mind.”
I looked at him, unimpressed. “I need you to teach me, that way I can do it on my own when you tell me you’re not interested in a relationship.”
He looked around his apartment and then walked over to me, sitting on the cushion next to me. “Hadn’t crossed my mind, actually.”
“Right,” I deadpanned.
I wasn’t about to feign naïvety just to make Josh feel better. I had to at least protect my dignity, if not my pride. Knowing what the other nurses were thinking, seeing us chatting and making plans when he delivered patients to the ER, was hard enough. I had been one of those nurses once, making bets with Deb on how many drinks it would take Josh to get a particular nurse into bed, and how many days she would cry after.
Work would be easier later if I played this right.
“I thought we weren’t going to do that,” he said, unhappy.
“Do what?”
“Play games.”
“I recall you saying play nice. Technically, that’s playing something.”
“That’s not what I meant. You know,” he said, shifting uncomfortably. “Like you said, let’s be brave. Balls out. No back and forth, no anticipation of the other person’s next move. Let’s cut through all the bullshit and just be honest without worrying we sound too … anything.”
“Okay,” I said, unsure.
“I like you,” he admitted. “A lot. I was attracted to you before the accident, but since, everything’s changed. I want to get to know you better, but I’ve been sort of a dick since I got here, and I’m fairly certain you don’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth.”
“No, but you oversharing is mildly entertaining. Tell me more.”
He smiled. “You look exceptionally beautiful in my hoodie. Avery?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Um, sure.” I cringed at how awkward I sounded.
He raked his fingers gently into my hair at the nape of my neck and leaned in. I closed my eyes, and then I heard whimpering. Dee jumped up, licking and nibbling my chin.
I squealed, leaning back and wiping my chin with the hoodie sleeve.
“C’mon!” Josh said, chuckling while he set the wirehaired dog on the floor.
“He missed you,” I said.
He shook his head, pointing to the ball of fur. “No, no,” he said, trying not to laugh. He turned to me. “Ask me something.”
“Anything?”
“Almost anything.”
“What can’t I ask?”
“Oh, c’mon!”
“You said to ask you something! At least answer that.”
“I don’t like talking a lot about my past.”
“Join the club.”
“Oh, sweet Avery Jacobs has skeletons?” He smirked.
“Everyone has skeletons. So, pretty much everything is off the table with you.”
“Ask me. I can’t promise I’ll answer now, but I promise to answer later.”
I thought for a minute. “Why did you move to Philly?”
“My grandfather got me a job at LifeNet here.”
I nodded. “Does your grandfather live here?”
“He did when he first married Granny. They moved to Abbottstown when she found out she was pregnant. He had some connections here and said it would be good for me.”
“Why?”
Josh squirmed. “Later.”
I nodded. “Were you always so … charismatic?”
“That’s a nice way to say it. Y’know, it never occurred to me to be embarrassed about it, but sitting with you at the moment, I kind of am.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s not like I’m a virgin.”
“You’re not?” I couldn’t discern the look on his face.
My shoulders fell, and I looked at him as if I were bored with his question. “Please. I’m twenty-four. Do you know anyone our age who’s a virgin?”
“Just you.”
I cackled.
He shifted in his seat. “How many?”
“Are you fucking kidding me with that? You don’t ask a woman ho
w many people she’s slept with on the second date.”
“If this were a date, I’d be ashamed of myself. We’re hanging out … getting to know each other. So far, I’ve learned I love it when you curse. It’s hot.”
“Good. My dad had a mouth on him. Damn it was my first sentence.”
“How many?”
“You first.”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly.
“I’m not playing this game if you’re going to cheat.”
He laughed. “I swear to God. I think maybe in the forties. Maybe.”
“You’re a walking STD,” I said.
“Nope. I’m the safest bastard you’ve ever met. I get checked every three months like clockwork.”
“More like a prostitute.”
His mouth fell open. “Easy!”
“Yes, that would definitely qualify you as easy,” I shot back. “Two,” I confessed.
His smile vanished. “Two.”
“Yep. What?”
“I don’t know.” He frowned. “I’m aware of how irrational it is, but I don’t like the thought of you being with someone else.”
“Really? You’re bothered by my single-digit number?”
“I am. Who are they? I might want to Facebook stalk them.”
“You don’t get names. I’m not a pristine virgin. Deal with it.”
His eyebrows pulled even more. “No. I’m feeling genuine anger over here. I’m going to have pretend you’re a virgin.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys who have slept with half the city but prefer their women untouched.”
“Not at all. I’m just now discovering I might be the jealous type.”
“That was awfully truthy of you.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“I guess so,” I said. “What’s in the hutch? It’s locked.”
Josh looked over at the peeling white paint and thought about his answer. “It’s my liquor cabinet. Only for emergencies.”
“What qualifies as an emergency?”
“My mom’s an alcoholic.” He glanced to the hutch. “I’ve only opened that lock twice since I’ve been here. Both were wrecks involving kids. One shot of whiskey was over that car versus train with the toddler in May. I drank two shots for a van-full last month.”
I frowned. “I remember that one. I drank myself to sleep. You only had two shots?”
He shrugged. “I made a deal with myself that I’d only drink in a bar. It sounds stupid, I know. But drinking at home is how it started with my mom.”
“It makes perfect sense, actually.”
Josh looked into my eyes, seeming to appreciate our conversation. He stood after someone buzzed the apartment. He walked over to the small silver square on the wall by the door and pressed the black button, letting them in.
Josh pulled out his wallet, talking to the overgrown puppy scuttling around his feet. A few seconds later, someone knocked on the door and Josh answered.
Jeremy from JayWok’s delivery team stood in the hallway, handing Josh a large white sack. He leaned over, looking past Josh to wave at me. I waved back.
“Thanks, man,” Josh said.
“Coco told me to tell you not to screw this up.”
“Bye, Jeremy.” Josh shut the door, kicked off his shoes, and then returned to the couch.
“You’re two for two,” I said, digging into my box of noodles. “Two great nights so far.”
“My two best nights in Philly since I’ve been here.”
I pressed my lips together, trying not grin like an idiot, and then nodded, looking down at my noodles.
“My turn,” Josh said. “What else do you hate, besides movie talkers and Christmas?”
“Dating douchebags,” I said without hesitation.
“I can fix that, too.”
Water dripped from my chin as I hung my head, hands gripping my knees, struggling to catch my breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Fuck, keep it together. Nine. Ten.
We’d managed to save the toddler who’d fallen into the family pool, but now it was my chest that was aching, memories weighing heavily on me as the boy’s dark hair was replaced with curls in the recesses of my mind. I rubbed my palms against my dampened shirt, struggling to keep my calm. The boy’s mother flung her arms around my neck and, from the rudimentary Spanish I understood, was thanking me for being his hero.
I felt like anything but as Quinn pried her from my body, his voice fading in and out like a radio station that wasn’t quite in tune. His pocket-sized flashlight was shining in my eyes like the headlights of a semi barreling toward me. The thought immediately brought Avery’s sweet face and soft hands to mind as I batted him away and righted my body.
“I’m fucking fine. Just tired.”
“Avery keep you up all night?” He smirked.
I broadened my shoulders, widening my stance. Quinn and I often joked about women, but it didn’t feel right when it was about her.
“She isn’t like that,” I snapped. I pulled my shirt that clung to my skin over my head and tossed it on the vinyl seat of the ambulance. I rummaged through my duffel bag and pulled out a spare.
“She shot you down?” Quinn asked.
I glared at him and then pulled the fabric down over my stomach before turning to walk to the back of the meat wagon. “I didn’t even try.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them.
“I’m sorry,” he said, not really sorry at all. “Did you grow a fucking vagina?”
I stopped walking, turning to face him. He nearly slammed into my chest. Quinn wasn’t a small man, but I towered over him, at least half a foot taller.
“I’m just saying, if you have one, you gotta show it to me. Sharing is caring.”
Shaking my head, I shouldered past him to the driver’s seat.
Quinn slammed both back doors and then jogged up to the passenger side. He slammed the door and leaned back, pulling his hat low on his forehead.
I turned the key in the ignition, and the ambulance rumbled as we pulled out onto the main road. “Looks like you have your hands full with Deb.”
“That girl has the mouth of a sailor, only … you know, tits and stuff, too.”
I shook my head and breathed out a laugh. “Sailors can be women too, you know.”
“You think she’d wear one of those sexy little sailor outfits for me?”
“Deb? I think she’d let you throw bologna at her ass if it made you laugh.”
“You’re right.” He looked out his window, thoughtful. “She’s perfect.”
Work had been exhausting, but I was reenergized as I stood at Avery’s apartment door. She always seemed to have that effect on me. I had dropped her off from work only an hour before, but gone were her dirty scrubs and messy bun. She had disappeared into her bedroom and reemerged wearing a strappy plum-colored dress that hung loosely from her hips and stopped just above her knees. I suddenly felt underdressed in my jeans and gray polo.
“What do you have planned for us tonight?” she asked.
“It’s hard to top a junkyard and twenty questions, but I think I’ve found something you may like. This is for you.” I held out a small box in my sweaty palm, hoping she wouldn’t laugh in my face.
Her eyebrows pulled together as her delicate fingers wrapped around the blue velvet object.
“I hope you’re not proposing, because I haven’t packed for Vegas,” she quipped, the dimples settling deeper into her cheeks.
“Not yet,” I replied before I could stop the words from spilling over my lips. “I mean not ever.” Vomit. Word vomit was cascading out of my mouth like I was starring in The Exorcist.
Her eyes widened and I put out my hand instinctively, as if she might kick me in the balls. “I didn’t mean any of that,” I groaned. “Just open the damn box already.”
Stifling a laugh, she opened the hinged cube and lifted the delicate ball chain from its tiny satin pillo
w. The shiny penny that had caught my eye that night in my car hung in front of her sparkling green eyes. I could see her imagination spinning as she waited for me to explain.
“It’s a good luck charm. You know, a lucky penny. I found it in my car the night of our accident.”
“I think we may have different definitions of good luck.” Her eyebrow crooked up as I took the necklace from her hands and unclasped the chain.
“You’re standing here, aren’t you?” I asked, waiting for her to turn around. She did, lifting her long hair from her neck. The skin beneath was soft and perfect. “And I’m standing with you.”
I slipped the necklace over her chest and fumbled with the clasp, my fingers too big to snap it back together. I used the opportunity to lean closer, inhaling the honey scent of her hair. “I’d say that makes me the luckiest man on Earth,” I whispered.
Her shoulders shook from a small shiver. After three attempts, the clasp finally locked in place. Avery let her hair cascade down her back, over my fingertips. It was as soft as silk, and I had to fight against the urge to slide my fingers through it.
Turning back around, she grasped the penny that hung against her chest. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Josh.”
I made a face, unsure if she was being sarcastic. “You’ve said that before.”
“I mean it.”
I shrugged, wondering if I’d made a fool of myself. “Flowers die, and we see enough of that at work. I thought this might help keep you safe, you know, when I can’t be there to pull you from the wreckage.”
She breathed out a laugh. I placed my fingers under her chin to raise her gaze to meet mine. “Penny for your thoughts?”
Her teeth raked over her lower lip. “You just … you surprise me. You don’t seem like this kind of guy.”
“What kind of guy is that?” I tried to push down the twinge of jealousy. I knew what kind of guy she thought I was and who had caught her eye first.
“Well … ” She held up the penny and peered through the hole drilled into its center. Her eyebrows pulled together. “I just didn’t see you doing arts and crafts. What’s next? Scrapbooking? Painting happy clouds?”
My grip was so tight on the steering wheel that my fingers ached. I’d never been so worried about impressing a woman. Chancing a glance at Avery, I relaxed. She was mindlessly rubbing her penny between her thumb and index finger.