Beautiful Sacrifice (Maddox Brothers #3) Read online

  “You’re not doing this. We love each other. That hasn’t changed,” he said.

  “How? How can you still love me? If I deserved it before, I definitely don’t now,” I said, exasperated.

  He shrugged. “I just love you. I don’t stop to question whether or not you’re worthy. But you can’t keep forcing me to make choices that aren’t mine.”

  I had burned him twice. Anyone else would have walked away by now, but he still loved me.

  “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I know I said I wasn’t scared of you. But I lied. I tried not to fall in love with you, but I didn’t want to try too hard. Now, we’re here, and every time I try to do the right thing, it’s wrong. I hurt you, just like I knew I would.”

  He took a step toward me, interlacing his fingers with mine. He grazed his lips along my cheek until his mouth was whispering against my ear, “No one could have been prepared for this scenario. I don’t blame you. I don’t want an apology. I just want you to stop the bullshit, Ivy League. You’re smart, but you’re not always smarter than me.”

  I looked up at him, the corners of my mouth curling up.

  “We’ve got a baby on the way,” he said.

  “You have a baby on the way.”

  “No, this is our baby. You have said from the beginning that this was all happening exactly the way it was supposed to. You can’t pick and choose. It’s either fate, or it’s not.”

  “What if she changes her mind? What if she comes back?”

  “Then we adjust. We don’t fall apart.”

  My eyes filled with tears. “I’m afraid. That’s a lot to ask.”

  “I’m not asking.” He held the back of my neck and kissed me, tightly closing his eyes, as if it were painful. He held my cheeks and looked straight into my eyes. “You’ve walked away from me twice, Falyn. I go back to Estes in a couple of months. I’m going to be a dad in December. I’m fucking terrified. But I love you, and that surpasses fear.”

  Even after months of being apart, being in his arms felt normal, as if it had always been and would always be. I couldn’t break his heart again even if it meant being brokenhearted later. I didn’t know anymore what the right thing to do was. I just knew that I loved him, and he loved me, too. That was worth all the pain before and all the pain to come.

  “Okay. I’m in.”

  He leaned back, scanning my entire face. “You’re in? Which part?”

  “Estes Park, the baby—all of it.”

  A cautious small smile touched his lips. “When?”

  “When you go back, I’ll go with you.”

  “Falyn.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m having trouble believing you.”

  “I know. But I promise.”

  “I have a condition.”

  I sighed a breath of relief, waiting for whatever he was going to throw my way. “Okay. Name it.”

  His mouth pulled to the side. “Marry me.”

  My lips parted, and my breath caught.

  Taylor leaned down, touching his thumb to my chin, tilting his head. “Say yes,” he whispered against my lips.

  “I … this is not a good time to be making life-changing decisions. We just experienced a traumatic event. I thought you were dead.”

  “I almost was,” he said. He sucked on my bottom lip.

  My breath faltered. “When?” I asked, stumbling over the word.

  “Why wait?” he said, his voice low and smooth.

  He left a trail of kisses from the corner of my mouth to the skin just beneath my ear while reaching around to where my apron was tied in a knot. With two tugs, it came loose and fell to the floor. He backed me up to the door, placing his palms on the peeling white paint on each side of my head.

  “Do you love me?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “See? It’s not hard. Just say yes. Say you’ll marry me.”

  I swallowed hard. “I can’t.”

  I reached behind me for the knob before twisting and ducking under his arm. I escaped to the living room, crossing my arms over my middle.

  Taylor came out of the bathroom, stopping at the kitchen bar. “You can’t?”

  I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

  “You can’t right now or can’t at all?” he said. Waiting for my answer was torture for him.

  “You’re throwing a lot at me all at once. I give you an inch, and you go balls out.”

  Taylor relaxed a bit, and he breathed out a laugh. “Okay. That’s fair.”

  “I might run away, but you don’t know when to quit.”

  His happiness vanished. “I’m not quitting on you. As long as you love me, I’m going to keep fighting.”

  “Well,” I said, “we’re definitely good at that.”

  He took a step toward me. “I didn’t know I wanted it until I said it. But I said it, and now, I want it.”

  “To get married?” I asked.

  He nodded.

  “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

  “Fuck it,” he said, shrugging. “Who cares what the logistics are or what your college psych books said or what happened last night? I fucking love you. I want you to be my wife. I want you to have my last name.”

  A small smile touched my lips. “You do have a pretty great last name.”

  “Falyn Maddox,” he said, each syllable full of admiration and love.

  I frowned. “That doesn’t sound so great.”

  He slowly made his way to where I stood, wrapping his arms around me. “I have never exactly fantasized about proposing to a girl, but I damn sure never thought I’d have to beg.” He thought about that for a moment and then knelt.

  “Oh no, please get up.”

  “Falyn Fairchild, you are a stubborn woman. You have the mouth of a sailor. You buck every rule anyone lays upon you, and you’ve broken my heart. Twice.”

  “This is a terrible proposal,” I said.

  “Everything that’s happened since we met has led to this moment. There is only one woman I’ve loved before you, and there will never be another after you.”

  “Unless it’s a girl,” I said.

  Taylor blanched and then stood. “You think it could be a girl?”

  “There is a fifty percent chance.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, walked away from me, and came back. “I can’t have a daughter. I’ll kill someone.”

  I chuckled. “You’re right. You do need me—at the very least, for an alibi.”

  “I’d feel a lot better about it if we made it official.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  His face twisted. “You’ve said that before.”

  I blew out a breath, feeling like the truth had just punched me in the chest. “I guess neither one of us keeps our promises.”

  “There is one promise I know I’ll keep,” he said.

  I leaned over, tenderly cupping his face in my hands. “Ask me again.”

  He blinked. “What?”

  “Ask me again.”

  His eyes glossed over, and he took my hand in both of his. “Will you marry me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yeah?” he said, beaming.

  He crashed into me, kissing every inch of my face. Then his lips landed on my mouth, moving slowly. When he finally released me, he shook his head in disbelief. “You’re serious? You’re gonna marry me?”

  I nodded.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “The worst day of my life has turned into the best day of my life.”

  “So far,” I said.

  He kissed me again. This time, he lifted me into his arms and then carried me to the bedroom before closing the door.

  We spent the rest of the day in bed, either making love or making plans. I waited to feel panic or regret, but neither came. I had been without him, and then I thought I’d lost him forever. Loss had a way of making everything very clear, and all the things I’d been so worried about seemed insignificant now.

  Just bef
ore dinner, Taylor’s cell phone buzzed, and he climbed out of bed to check it. “Damn it. I got called in.”

  I sulked. “So soon after what happened?”

  He shrugged. “It’s the job, baby.” He fetched the trash bag in the hall and put on the smoky clothes. “Come with me.”

  “To wait at the hotel?”

  “Ellie will be there. You can hang with her. Tyler’s crew was called out, too. I want you there when I get back.”

  I walked over to the closet and slipped on a T-shirt and jeans, and then I slid my feet into a pair of sandals.

  Taylor seemed happy as he watched me wrap my hair into a bun.

  “Just let me …” I said, hurrying into the bathroom to grab a toothbrush.

  We rushed downstairs, and I waved to Phaedra before following Taylor out to his truck.

  He drove a little too fast to the hotel. At the entrance, he handed me the key card. “Your phone is in the zipper part of my suitcase. Room two-oh-one.”

  “The same room you were in when we met.”

  He leaned over to peck my lips, and then I scooted out.

  “Be safe,” I said before closing the passenger door. “I mean it.”

  Tyler jogged out, his pack in his hand. He kissed Ellison’s cheek, and then he climbed into the shotgun seat.

  Taylor punched his arm. “I’m gettin’ married, fucker!”

  Tyler looked at me, shocked, and then a huge smile broke out across his face.

  I nodded to confirm, and Ellison hugged me.

  “Let’s put out this fire then. Don’t want to keep your fiancée waiting,” Tyler said, socking his fist straight into Taylor’s shoulder.

  They waved, and then Taylor pulled away, squealing the tires.

  “Oh, those Maddox boys,” Ellison said, shaking her head. She put her arm around me. “You really said yes, huh?”

  “Am I crazy?” I asked.

  “Absolutely,” she said. “Why do you think they fell in love with us?”

  I looked down the road even though the twins were long gone.

  “That’s why I know it will work,” I said. “You can’t really be in love without being a little crazy.”

  The edges of the napkin tore easily between my fingers as I waited at the bar for Phaedra to bring me a slice of her famous cheesecake.

  I smiled at the low hum of conversation that had made me feel safe for so long. The Bucksaw would always be just that—my home.

  “Hannah! Order up!” Chuck yelled. When he caught my eye, he winked. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired,” I said. “But happy.”

  The chime on the door rang, and I turned to see Taylor holding our son on his hip, his free arm hooked around the handle of an infant carrier.

  Phaedra set my plate in front of me, but she barely paused before heading to the door. “There are those babies! Come to Granny!” she said, holding her arms out to Hollis.

  She carried him to where I sat, and Taylor readjusted the baby bag on his shoulder before bringing over the carrier. Once he set the carrier on the ground, a baby’s wails filled the room.

  I arched an eyebrow. “Still think taking them to the hotel was a good idea?”

  He kissed my cheek. “The guys hadn’t seen her yet, and I’d thought it’d be nice to give you a second to chat.” He leaned over, pulled the blanket away, and unbuckled the tiny infant. He nuzzled her for a moment before handing her to me.

  “It was nice. Thank you,” I said, touching Hadley’s sweet soft cheek to mine. I hummed a little tune until she settled down.

  “I have a confession,” Taylor said. “I took off the headband while we were there.”

  My mouth fell open as I feigned being offended. “But it’s so cute!”

  “It’s ridiculous, baby. Those guys don’t care if she’s wearing one, especially not one bigger than her head.”

  I had dressed her in tiny black-and-white houndstooth leggings, a hot-pink shirt, and socks that looked like Mary Janes. Granted, the headband was a bit excessive, but we didn’t have many opportunities to dress her up. I mostly focused on keeping her comfortable.

  Chuck came out and held out his arms for Hadley. “Just washed my hands.”

  Phaedra gently pinched a roll of fat on Hollis’s arm. “Are you feeding this poor kid?” She kissed his cheek and bounced him a bit. “He’s as big as a toddler!”

  Hollis rubbed his nose on Phaedra’s shirt, and then he rubbed his eyes with his chubby hand.

  “Are you getting sleepy, son?” I asked.

  He reached for me, and I patted his back while he rested his head on my shoulder. He was his father’s son with the same long lashes and warm brown eyes.

  Taylor had attended every doctor’s and ultrasound appointment Alyssa allowed, and he’d read every book on parenting and newborns he could get his hands on while he was on shift at his new job at the Estes Park station.

  The whole time Alyssa had labored and for the half an hour after Hollis was born, Taylor had paced the floor, and I’d watched him from my uncomfortable waiting room chair, rubbing my round belly. The moment we’d entered the room where we met him, the nurse had handed Taylor his son, and it was love at first sight for us both.

  Four months after Hollis was born, we’d brought home Hadley. Miracles happened, and Hadley was ours.

  “There she is!” Kirby said, grinning and wrinkling her nose at the infant in Chuck’s arms. Then she came over to rub Hollis’s back in small circles. “His hair grew in dark, huh?”

  I kissed the back of his head. “He’s all Maddox.”

  “Lord help us,” Phaedra teased.

  The door chimed again, and Gunnar breezed in, a big grin on his face.

  “Hey,” he said, leaning down to take a peek at Hollis. He looked at Taylor. “He’s gettin’ big! How old is he now?”

  “Six months,” Taylor said. Like any proud father, he puffed out his chest. “He’s going to be a beast.”

  “Yeah, he is,” Gunnar said, walking over to stand next to Chuck. “Aw. She’s adorable! Cute headband!”

  “See?” I said to Taylor before sticking out my tongue.

  I reached over for my fork and cut a piece of pie. “Oh my God, do I miss your food, Phaedra.”

  “It’s here for you anytime,” Phaedra said.

  Hadley began to wail, and Chuck bounced her up and down before holding her out for Taylor. Hadley squinted her eyes, her whole body shaking while she cried.

  “Goodness,” Taylor said, leaning down to fetch her pacifier.

  Hadley sucked on it for a few seconds and then began to cry again.

  “I think she’s hungry, baby. I’ll trade ya,” Taylor said.

  I took Hadley in one arm and let Taylor take Hollis from the other. Hollis was already asleep. Taylor handed me a cover-up, and I pulled it over my head with my free hand.

  Chuck and Gunnar were instantly trying to find somewhere else to look.

  Hadley settled down, and Taylor swayed from side to side as he held Hollis.

  Phaedra shook her head. “Good grief. It’s like having twins.”

  “Just about,” Taylor said. “Wouldn’t trade it though.”

  He winked at me, and I grinned.

  We had matching pairs of dark circles under our eyes, and when Taylor was at the station and both babies woke up during the night, it would be challenging, but we had become pros.

  Taylor had been a great boyfriend, but he was the perfect father.

  “So, when is the wedding?” Kirby asked.

  “As soon as I can fit into the size-six dress that I bought,” I said.

  Everyone laughed but Taylor.

  “You know,” he said, “I thought you couldn’t be more beautiful than you were when you were pregnant, but I was wrong. I fall in love with you every time I see you holding our kids.”

  “Easy,” Chuck said. “You’ll have another one on the way.”

  Phaedra, Kirby, and Gunnar laughed.

  “Wedding first,” Tay
lor said. “Then who knows?”

  “I know. We got lucky,” I said.

  “We’ve been lucky a lot,” Taylor said before kissing me on the forehead. He looked to the others. “We’re getting married in Eakins in October. We have a few people from there besides family we’d like to invite.”

  “Like who?” Phaedra asked.

  “Shane and Liza … and Olive,” I said.

  Phaedra and Chuck traded glances. “So, you’re going to contact them?”

  “I’m going to write them a letter,” I said. “I have to explain a few things first.”

  Phaedra seemed concerned. “If you think that’s best.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine, honey,” Chuck said with a smile.

  Kirby left to check on the remaining tables, and I finished my slice of pie with one hand, something I’d grown accustomed to. Once I burped Hadley, Phaedra buckled her into her seat.

  “Do you have to go so soon?” Phaedra said, forlorn.

  “We’ll be back,” I said, hugging her.

  I took a sleeping Hollis from Taylor, and Phaedra kissed the baby’s hand.

  Taylor picked up the carrier and leaned in to hug Chuck.

  “Drive safe,” Chuck said.

  We waved good-bye, and after securing the children into their seats, we climbed into ours.

  Taylor started the truck and reached for my hand. “So much has changed since I first walked into that café.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  He held my hand to his lips, and then he lowered it back to the console. “One choice led to all of this. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have either of my children. I owe everything that’s important to me to you.”

  With his left hand, he reached across to put the gear in drive. We drove away from the place where we’d met to the place where we were raising our family, holding hands the whole way.

  I thank my husband in every book. I can look back on each acknowledgment and see the love and support he’s shown me over my career. Jeff helps me so much that at times I joke that his name should be on the cover, too, because without him, there would be no Jamie McGuire books. His presence in my life is just as instrumental to my finishing novels as my creativity or work ethic. Not only does he handle most everything so that I can focus on my career, he is the reason I know how to write about love and why I know men have a soft, sweet, kind side. He is why I know men can be so forgiving and patient.